My demons shape a part of me.
I'm so happy with how far I've come,
and that I've lived to see the sun.
Still, I'll never forget who I was at 17.
The conflict between my outside and inside worlds,
and choosing which one to believe and live in.
Covered in external and internal scars from making mistakes.
Full of so much insecurity, shame, and hurt.
The struggle between how everyone said I should be feeling,
and how I felt.
How not many understood my depression or anxiety.
Young, and sad, and tired
Wondering what the future would be like,
if I survived.
Well here I am,
I made it.
At 17, I wanted to die.
At 18, I decided to give living another try.
At 19, 20, 21, I made a new life,
but I'll never forget.
Never forget who I was at 17.
Because she's always with me.
Sometimes she even pays me a visit from time to time.